WAS MAX RIGHT?

 

A man named Max, enjoyed taking his three little children (aged four and a half, five, and six and a half) to the park every Saturday.  He had two reasons.  One was that he truly enjoyed playing with his kids and wanted to teach his kids all the fun things that he enjoyed doing as a child, like playing kick-the-can, and learning how to throw a football, etc., and the other reason was to give his wife at least a half day to get things done that she wanted to do without worrying about the kids.

Max also used these Saturday trips to teach his kid’s character; i.e., how to be a good loser; how to play fair; why there is no true glory in winning if you cheat.  Max also was unusual in that he would never let his kids win by running slower or acting like he was trying when he wasn’t.  His kids always knew that if they kicked the can before their dad got to it, it was a legit victory!  He even explained that to his children so that they would understand why they rarely won any games that he played with them. 

Max was the kind of dad that could laugh so hard while playing with his kids that tears would run down his cheeks; but he was also a strict disciplinarian when necessary.  His kids absolutely loved those Saturdays and looked forward to them every week.

One Saturday, after at least four hours of robust play, Max told the kids that it was time to go.  His middle child, the little strong-willed girl of five years old, decided that she was not ready to go.  After listening to her objections, Max told her that he appreciated the fact that she was not ready to go; but there were others to consider in this decision.  She put her foot down and would not take one more step towards the car.

Max was never the kind of parent that made idol threats and his children knew that about him.  So, he said to her, with a great deal of confidence in gaining compliance, “If you do not get in the car by the count of five, I will leave you here and you can walk home by yourself.”  His daughter knew that her dad was not one to toy with; but decided to disobey his request.    They had been to that park well over 20 times and she felt very confident that she could find her way home, if necessary.  There was also a side of her that thought this was one time that he might not follow through with the threat because the park was far enough from their house that he had never walked there with them and it took awhile to get there even driving in the car.  She decided to take her chances.

Max began the countdown, “Five, Four, Three, Two, One” and his little daughter did not budge.  As was typical with Max, he followed through with the threat because he wanted his children to understand that there are consequences to not obeying him and he would never attempt to manipulate them with idol threats.  He wanted his kids to know when he said it, he meant it!

She could hardly believe what was happening, as she watched her brother and sister get into the car and her dad drive away leaving her standing there all alone.

She had to decide if she wanted to play a little more, since that was the reason for her not wanting to leave in the first place; or, if she should start her trek home since she hadn’t eaten since breakfast and could hear her stomach rumbling.  She realized that she was somewhat in a state of shock and also scared, which was unusual for this little girl.  When she looked around and thought more about her predicament, the idea of playing completely left her mind.  Knowing it was going to be a long way home, if she could even find her way, she decided to start walking.   After the first block, she started crying.  Her tears were tears of anger and fear.  She wasn’t sure who she was more angry with herself or her dad; and afraid, because she also (perhaps for the first time in her life) was not as confident as she normally felt, when challenged.

It was a long way home.  Unbeknownst to her, Max was driving on side streets and parking out of sight at the end of each block.  There was hardly a minute that she was out of his sight.  Max also knew that the park was approximately one mile from home.  He really did not want to spend the extra half hour that this life lesson would end up taking; but felt it would be worth it in terms of the impact it would have on his strong-willed little girl and the example it would set for his other two children who were in the car observing all of this.

I can tell you that this was a milestone in this little girl’s life.  She had even more respect for her father and she also learned that there are consequences to our choices in life.  From that point forward she thought long and hard before ever being disobedient for the wrong reasons.

This all happened in 1965 in San Jose, California and I can tell you all this, because I was that little girl!