"Pre" - Pre-Marital Counseling

I want to suggest a new and different approach for all who are responsible for pre-marital counseling.  Let me share with you an approach which cuts to the chase and truly exposes a man's readiness for marriage by sharing this dialogue (which has been repeated so many times that I have lost count with the same result each time).  Here we go:

Young man:  "I really think she is the one for me."

Counselor:  "And why is that?  What is it about her that you love so much?"

Young man: "Well, she loves the Lord.  She is really easy to talk to.  In fact, we can talk for hours and hours.  I think she really understands me.  She has a good personality and my family seems to like her, as well.  We have a lot in common in terms of theology, music, etc."

Counselor:  "Let me ask you this.  Do you think she is pretty?"

Young man:  "Of course.  Isn't it important that we find each other physically attractive.  Isn't that important?"

Counselor:  "Ponder this:  If six month after you are married, your wife  is involved in a serious car accident where the car is engulfed in flames and she survives but is grossly disfigured by the accident to the point that she is actually hideous to look at (hideous!), would you still feel good about taking her out in public and introducing her as your wife?"  In other words, would you still feel the same as you do right now and still marry this woman if that happened to her tomorrow?

Young man: "WOW!  I don't think I am there yet."

In almost 100% of my encounters with young professing Christian men who think that they are "in love", this line of questioning has always ended with that same remark, "I don't think I'm there yet".  At least they are being honest.  But, let me be honest.  If you are not there yet, you are not ready to marry.

I can honestly tell you, and those who truly love their spouses can tell you, that no matter what might happen to my husbands outward appearance, I am "in love" with his soul.   My love is not based, one single iota, on how he looks.  He could be the most hideous looking man on earth and I would marry him all over again.

I would counsel young people, that if they cannot truly answer that question in the affirmative before they marry someone, they will make horrible spouses and will be ill-equipped to deal with the natural consequences of living in a fallen world.

Are my standards too high?